PieFedGarden of gethsemane
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You know, it’s kind of refreshing to think that somebody tried to think of the most horrific sexual perversion imaginable, and could only come up with Waluigi hentai.
They probably could have thought of worse, but then it goes from being funny to being depressing.
There are produced movies with far more sinister perversions than that.
The actual worst thing is probably known to and performed by a select few.
I was going to take a stab at guessing, but I realized I was doing too good a job and decided not to make anybody else read that.
Thank you for your prescience or at least sacrifice.
When I was a teen I used to sometimes play “what’s the worst thing I can possible imagine” as a kind of mental exercise. I really, really wish I could undo the years of playing this game, now.
And they are usually depressing movies.
Also, how is that a sin?
It is central to most major religions the need to control the sex lives of their followers.
The Bible doesn’t say that masturbation is a sin, but since Christianity is a religion, they cannot permit their followers to control their own sex lives.
As a result, most sexual expression is considered a sin, and they will use any excuses or lies possible to make sure it stays that way.
To add to this, the most closely related passage in the bible is in Genesis 38, where this guy Onan was ordered to have children with his brother’s widow so the child could inherit his brother’s estate.
This seems to me a bit outside your usual family obligations, and so did the guy because while he engaged in sexual intercourse, he “spilled his seed” on the ground to avoid fulfilling this familial duty.
God didn’t think much of that and killed him on the spot.
The tale is usually linked more to the “sin” of contraception, but it seems like a much more pragmatic story: it’s best you knock up your brother’s widow than have everyone start a war over the spoils.
And the Lord sayeth, “creampie your sister-in-law or I’ll fucking kill you.”
Fun fact: In the Indigenous Australian society I’m most familiar with, if you’re a man and your brother dies, his wife is now your wife, and you have his familial obligations. This is to ensure that his family will be cared for.
Tamar is an interesting character in her own right, and worthy of being named.
After this, she’s supposed to marry Judah’s (Onna’s dad’s) third son, but considering he just lost two, he doesn’t want it to go through. He sends her home to her parents and blows her off when she asks when the marriage is going to happen. (The Bible has a lot of verses about leaving parts of your field unharvested for widows. Not having a husband = hellish poverty.)
She eventually gets fed up with this, disguises herself as a temple prostitute, Judah shows up, has sex with her, and gives her a family emblem as an IOU.
Later, she ends up pregnant, so the village elders drag her before Judah for punishment (he’s her father-in-law still technically.) They are going to put her to death, and Judah asks her who knocked her up. She produces his family emblem, and he has to be “well, you got me, I guess I have to take care of you.
Ok that’s one fucked up family. Out of all of them, god only saw fit to smite one of them? Sheesh.
Two of them. The older brother had been killed by god for being “wicked.”
It was actually the law to do that, IIRC. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yibbum
Well the article says that
So, permitted and encouraged, but not forced into it. Except by god it seems.
Probably already said yes to the marriage thing, considering he got to put his peepee in her peepee
I took this introductory passage to be the current tradition. The quoted bible passage makes it look like more of a mandatory thing:
Deuteronomy 25 (Modern English)
I always read it as being about defying the law (backed by divine enforcement):
His father commanded him to “… fulfill [his] duty to her as a brother-in-law to raise up offspring for [his] brother”, which implies that this was considered a legitimate obligation. His transgression, then, was that he pulled out “to keep from providing offspring for his brother”, actively refusing to fulfill that obligation. In that reading, it’s a tale about obeying the orders and customs of your elders.
Of course, these don’t have to be exclusive: “These norms exist for a reason, so you should damn well obey them.”
What if they had a girl?
You’re not supposed to have fun. Also you need to make a baby with every sperm. As explained by the Great Sages here:
It won’t load for me, but I assume this will link to Monty Python’s “Every Sperm is Sacred”?
It is. I changed it now. Maybe you want to try again?
Nice! Classic skit, perfectly applied.
I tried again, still didn’t work for me. Could be my layers of VPN, or I might need to update my Lemmy client, though.
Not working for me either.
He was probably relieved when the next sin would come up and would just be waluigi hentai again. In fact it was most likely waluigi hentai that made him reconsider when he was about to give up on humanity. Who knows?
The hardest thing to do is invent an entirely new perversion.
I put 2 rats, a clove of garlic and a 1/4 cup of heavy cream in my Ninja blender, then funnel the resulting mixture into my ass while an obese clown massages my taint.
That’s just a Juggalo Jiggle.
I think the bloodhound gang is still ahead of you on that one.
c/wholesome
Jesus only saw Every Sin SO FAR…
This depends on what sect of Christianity you believe in. If you’re one that believes that everything is already predetermined, than yeah, this Jesus character would have seen everything to come, in regards of sin. If you don’t believe in a predetermined life, than you would have probably carried a huge burden of guilt for something that you never knew was true or not. But the people around you kept on speaking as if it was true, even though they wouldn’t or couldn’t provide solid evidence of such a thing happening.
Anyway… Do your best to be a good person, treat people how you would want to be treated, and don’t hold religion to be, the end all be all of life, as we know it. No one can fully prove or disprove the existence or absence of a deity or deities.
Right, but Jesus is also God, so why would he need to “see” the things he’s already well aware of?
Oh that’s right, none of it makes any sense.
Tbf, early Christians did not believe Jesus was God.
I can only get off by pretending he’s real and watching me getting off whether alone or otherwise. “Fuck yeah Jesus, watch me cum. Don’t look away! Look in my eyes while I cum!”
i believe in the one where on a hill named golgotha jesus exploded into a shower of low quality wine (we really have gotten a lot better at wine since jesus) and crackers that the vatican has been trying to bury in a cave for millenia. it’s in mark 16 or something.
i don’t worship that one, i just believe in that one. it’s more fun.
It being predetermined doesn’t necessarily decrease the anxiety. For example, you might just be one of the unelect, destined for hell.
You’re assuming beating your dick to Waluigi railing Luigi in the ass is sinful
It shouldnt be. True love of consenting adult fictional characters can never be wrong.
Nah after that he just wanted to die..
He liked what he saw so much, so that he made a sacrifice for the beautiful things to continue their existence.
“Wait that’s gonna be an option?!? I’ve got to protect that!” - Jesus probably when he discovered his kink in the garden.
Jesus Christ
Yes. Very good.
https://youtu.be/GbeWpW6Pqyo?t=2
Bold of you to assume that was a sin
Well it was a guy. Makes it gay. You know how that mythology feels about gay.
I know that the Old Testament spat out some dubiously translated shit that was abolished by the new covenant and Jesus had jack and shit to say about gays sooooooooo
Why on earth would a christian care about that? You know in the first comic superman couldnt fly? Batman’s gadgets were things like a pocket tape recorder?
bah, go pick a fight somewhere else
Im explaining the thing. What it means to them. Modern comic books are a close analogue to how ancient people understood their mythologies. How modern people understand their mythologies.
You have these multiple iterations/retellings/translations if these stories with the ‘same’ characters coming from different cultural contexts. Why does the original necessarily take primacy?
Fuck, even ancient rome and its empire, where the big part of christian myth takes place is largely mythologized at this point. There is a verifiable real version that existed and we can verify many details of, but what is remembered and used is largely a fantasy. Even the aesthetics are not ‘true’ to any period or popular style of the original. Go show a ‘return’ statue pervert an ancient statue of venus with what chemical analysis tells us is the original paint job, tits and all. He’ll try to fucking kill you.
The original story does not matter. Even the ‘return’ is not a desire to reproduce the original, it is a desire to create an imagined world without the courage to admit new things are possible or we can have better. Its an emotional aesthetic not an actual reasoning.
Any belief about any oft reinterpreted emotoonally charged body of knowledge is the same. Nobody actually cares about the truth. I take it from the response youre a christian. If a middle aged palestinian dude wearing plants on his head descended from the sky on a beam of light accompanied by a heavenly choir of such beauty you fell to your knees and wept, then grabbed a child and told you in a language you had never heard but somehow understood told you to rape that child, would you? Fucking of course not. Youre probably not a fucking monster. Youd find a reason that isnt really your messiah. Because it isnt. Thats not what you believe in. I hope thats not what you believe in; harder than id like to assume that these days.
Ah nuts chucklebuddy ya took a swing and ya missed because WROOOONGGGG
But that really wasn’t the point, you just wanted to spew a buncha paragraphs at someone and thought I’d be a suitable target, didn’tcha? Again, #WROOOOOOONGGGGGG
I mean I thought I was pretty clear with the whole advising you to pick a fight elsewhere, but apparently I needed to get explicit.
I love when people use these tame little examples of sinful fetishes when there is an entire galaxy of god-awful things people get off to in this world. I think Jesus let himself be taken out cause there’s not enough eye bleach in the universe…
Jesus ALLOWED himself to be crucified because of our sins.
He noped out.
That’s not a sin.
Lunatics clearly consider that a sin but no normal person would.
You and I have very different definitions of sin
Jesus can get off his high horse. I bet he has a sordid browser history himself.
Mostly feet.
John 13:4-7:
so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him. He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, “Lord, are you going to wash my feet?” Jesus replied, “You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand.”
Giggity
Hell, what about Mark 14:51. What was Jesus doing with this naked guy on the night he was betrayed?
(45 So when he came, he went up to him at once and said, “Rabbi!” and kissed him. 46 Then they laid hands on him and arrested him. 47 But one of those who stood near drew his sword and struck the slave of the high priest, cutting off his ear. 48 Then Jesus said to them, “Have you come out with swords and clubs to arrest me as though I were a rebel? 49 Day after day I was with you in the temple teaching, and you did not arrest me. But let the scriptures be fulfilled.” 50 All of them deserted him and fled.)
51 A certain young man was following him, wearing nothing but a linen cloth. They caught hold of him, 52 but he left the linen cloth and ran off naked.
Neaniskos in the original Greek, not just a boy but a little boy
Rope play/shibari, for sure.
Judea had no age of consent i did nothing wrong!
-Jesus
cranking your hog to questionable material is not prohibited in the ten commandments
Jesus be like “oh god they’re gettin creative”
dude that’s some weak sauce in the meme
what of dropping nukes on Japan, or gassing jews or the jews obliterating their neighbors, or the genocide of native inhabitants by immigrant colonists, or shooting protestors or ad infinitum.
Yeah OPs is way funnier than yours. Sorry boss.
Ty
> dropping nukes on Japan
> Jewish genocide
> Palestinian genocide
> native inhabitant genocide
> shooting protestors
It’s officially canon that God doesn’t see these as sins because he’s a cunt.
DEUS VULT!
He could have been a giant sinning pervert himself, so he’s just saving his own.
Waluigi?
I’m too scared to look it up
You’ll technically be “fine,” considering the image description is intended for comedic effect.
Kept it fairly PG for you:
Or a guy rap*ng a child then murder it. No way that was real, he simply landed in this garden orgy and joined in. Deciding, orgies are nice, gotta protect the homies.
Or saw a guy jacking it to wario hentai and was like ‘this isnt so much a sacrifice as an escape’.
Glad to see our millennial culture being preserved for later generations.
Haven’t seen a reference to blasting rope to waluigi hentai in 10+ years
“WTF? I’m going to get crucified for little Timmy, when he beats off on his dad’s OnlyFans account in 2022? That’s a no.”
That’s… not a thought I was prepared to have today 💀
You guys, the best Jesus stories aren’t in the Bible. Look up the “Apocrypha” to get a list of these books.
In one, a schoolboy aged Jesus kills a kid and then brings him back to life, just to be a show-off little shit. He did plenty of sinning himself.
Wild, wild stuff, including lots of stories about Jesus’ childhood.
Wait a minute.
Christianity literally started with him.
There were no sins or catholics before that.
So we owe it to him to be little perverts as much as we can or the sucker died for nothing.
Just because there were no Catholics, that doesn’t mean that people weren’t violating some divine law (people also call it “natural law”). And unless you have a very specific meaning of “sin” in mind, there were absolutely “things you shouldn’t do or God will be angry”. Religion didn’t start with Jesus.
look at this guy taking the bullshitting seriously.
sins are a made up concept, like religion.
they don’t exist.
and since we were talking about the christian cult specifically that started with this guy.
other religious cults could’ve defined their sins like drinking alcohol,killing a snake or having sex with the wrong person.
the catholic sins were only defined later when they wrote their bible fantasy book.
so nobody sinned before that.
And since there is nothing as divine law there is nothing to violate.
Hmmm. Upvote or downvote? You make solid points. You are defending a position in good faith. Yet “mental disorder”?
Your mentality and eagerness to stake a position and defend the bastion hurts as much as helps.
You are making an artificial distinction. Catholicism can be, but shouldn’t be viewed as a thing with a start. It’s part of a continuum. Judaism>Christianity>Islam. Catholic sins weren’t defined later. Like all culture, they evolved from earlier sins. Even calling them Abrahamic Religions as we do is making the same error. The tradition didn’t just emerge, it evolved from predecessors and it has descendants.
Aside from the above linking culture, specifically religion to evolution in a real tangible way, please consider that natural selection over time takes random mutations and selects for reproductive fitness. It doesn’t care about what is “good” it only cares about what is most advantageous until new offspring can extend the continuity. We tend to think of this in terms of physiological of biochemical traits, but that’s a narrow view too. Our minds are a product of evolution. Our thinking is a product of our minds.
“Sin” is just part of a evolutionary cultural continuum that started somewhere in the roots of cognition where “actions>consequences” evolved and branched into “sin” and “karma”.
Creatures with evolved complex cognition need their complex social constructs to evolve to survive as well. They become condensed, efficient, easily axiomized artifacts like “the golden rule”, “religion”, philosophy, ethics, morality. All part of a continuum where divergence, convergence and speciation occur.
Religious and atheists are seperate cognitive sub-species who can choose to compete, fall into a predator-prey relationship (e.g. inquisition or communist religious purge) or we can coexist in our respective niches or, like all the best stuff in nature, become symbiotic and make the system better for all.
In short, not Religion vs Evolution. Religion as evolution. 😉👉
Oh my god! 😉 Poor me, making a witty non-serious comment and now having to defend myself in a theological discussion.
And this with a hangover from being punished by god for committing the sin of alcohol.
Anyway, here goes.
“mental disorder"
That isn’t necessarily a bold statement.
mental disorders exist in a wide range.
From fear of public speaking to smearing yourself with feces or chopping your mother to pieces because a voice told you she is the devil.
Somewhere in that spectrum lies religion.
While I came to that conclusion myself, I have learned I am not alone.
Sometimes labeled as a form of delusion which is a psychiatric condition.
When a majority of humans suffers from this condition it is logical it becomes acceptable and the others will conform, regardless of how crazy their beliefs are.
I did mention other and previous religions.
Religions themselves make it a point to distinguish themselves from the others, they have specific things that are sins.
Regardless if there are some taken over from the religions they stem from they DO NOT EXIST as sins from their own religion as it hasn’t been invented yet.
Obviously, however we humans defined any trait that is most advntageous as good.
Humans needed the group to survive.
So it is good not to just kill someone or steal from them. Even if beneficial to the perpetrator.
Religion has appropriated many of these natural rules.
You are a good follower of religion X if you follow these rules, and breaking them is called a sin.
I see nothing that warrants calling these already existing concepts ‘evolution’.
I also would never place religion in between “golden rule”, “religion”, philosophy, ethics, morality”.
Now this is a delusional.
History and present show religions are a huge danger and have awful consequences.
They are imperialist and invariably want to impose their world view.
Even if many of the followers don’t necessarily want this, there are religious zealots that infect others.
Even if there wasn’t any competition the religions try to impose their will on their subjects.
I couldn’t care less what people believe, unless they start bothering others and this is what they do.
Allowing religion is like having a little fire that can get out of control at any moment.
If only sane people would be in charge (as I mentioned it is not the case due to the religious epidemic) it would be forbidden.
Just the same as cigarettes and alcohol if they would be if invented now.
The danger and damages are obvious.
It’s like saying “I can do some cocaine and heroine, no problem. I’m a functioning member of society and no burden to society"
This can be the (individual’s) case, but we know the consequences and examples and therefore do not tolerate this behavior in society.
It would be tolerated if a large portion of society were coke and heroine users.
I disagree and I don’t think you got it, but I updoot for good faith, some fair points, wit and humour. I’ll always drink to that. ;)
OK then, cheers to you. ;)
Which commandments does it even violate?
I’m not religious but I find it funny how offended all the die hard atheists are because of religious rules. It’s symbols. Maybe the core of those is just to guide one through life with sound advice like endless desire and excess won’t lead to fulfilment and cause suffering like the well beloved bhudda says. Just because your relatives were religious nuts doesn’t mean it’s all pure mind control bullshit.
It is pure mind control though. You can argue that peaceful and civilized societies need individuals who repress and restrict themselves, morally or otherwise, to survive. But that doesn’t change the fact that religion is a mechanism to indoctrinate and assimilate repression. Pure and simple.